Photo by Oleksandr Pidvalnyi
As a writer, you face a lot of rejection.
Customers buy other books. Agents find other clients. Editors and publishers say no. And then you feel lousy.
You might call it the blues or feel that you are going through a rough patch.
But it’s often more than that.
You might be depressed or even struggle with some form of other mental illness.
As a writer, you likely internalize your world and you might even tend to overthink things. (I know I do.)
The Typical Pattern
For about four years, I had a freelance gig writing articles for a rehab clinic. It was an interesting job. In all, I wrote around 1,000 articles for them.
One of the most eye-opening things I learned was this: isolation often leads to loneliness. And then loneliness often leads to depression.
Now I’m not saying if you are “a loner” that you struggle with depression. I’m saying you are more likely to struggle with depression. Also worth noting, in many cases, if you have been depressed for years, you might not know you are depressed. It could be your normal state. (I know it was for me.)
Here are a few questions to ask yourself if you think you could be depressed:
- Are you experiencing increased sadness, unhappiness, anxiety, feelings of despair and hopelessness?
- Are you easily irritated, frustrated, and intolerable of things would not typically bother you?
- Do you often experience negative, pessimistic thinking and are unable to see anything good in self, circumstances, or future?
- Are you unable to concentrate or having memory difficulties?
- Have you lost your interest in exercise or being active?
- Feeling very emotional, sensitive, and/or crying easily?
- Are you feeling overwhelmed and having difficulty making decisions?
If you answer yes to any of those questions above, it’s a good idea to talk to your doctor and/or a therapist.
I know therapy often has a stigma — but trust me, it really can make a huge difference in your life. In many cases, therapy is just talking out your problems and learning healthy ways to handle them.
Even your writing can be used as part of your therapy to help you stay healthy.
In most cases, therapy is covered by your insurance. It’s definitely worth a simple phone call. What have you got to lose? I highly recommend you give it a shot. But there are other ways you can get back on track too. Let’s focus our attention back to your writing.
Remember Your Writing Should Bring You Joy
Stephen King says, “ If there’s no joy in it, it’s just no good.” Now I’m not saying that you have to write all happy stories. Conflict is an essential ingredient of a good story. Writing will be really hard at times too.
Find what you love about writing and focus on that.
Joy and passion will help you tell stories that need to be shared.
Joy cannot be faked.
When you are excited about your writing, you will feel better about writing — and it will also flow over into other areas of your life.
You are one person, and writing is just part of what you do. It’s not your identity.
Life Is Not Just About Art
One of my writing heroes is J.D. Salinger. In many ways, he is one of my absolute favorite writers. But if you ever look at his life, it was not remotely healthy. He drove people away and treated others horribly. In many ways, his life was focused only on writing.
A life focused only on writing — or art of any kind — is not a life.
Art can become an addiction of sorts. Your writing success does not remotely affect your value as a person.
You can be a full-time writer, or you can write on the weekends. One is not any better than the other. It doesn’t matter at all to the audience. All they want is something good to read.
Writing can become an unattainable perfectionist fantasy if you let it. And that is not good for your mental health. In my opinion, it’s why so many artists struggle with substance abuse or other forms of addiction.
Finding Support Is Easier Than You Think
I know I mentioned seeking professional help above, but connecting with other writers often helps too. No one understands the struggles you are going through like another writer. Facebook Groups are nice and all, but face-to-face interaction is important too.
Photo by Helena Lopes
Start with people you already know.
Do you know any writers in your area? Ask one of them to coffee.
I’m serious. This simple step helped me reshape my life. At the time, I was working a job I hated. I would meet with other writers and artists during my lunch hour.
I found hope. I realized I wasn’t alone and a lot of other people faced the same struggles I did.
We are meant to be in community with other people — not alone like Salinger.
Steven Pressfield says resistance is what stops you from writing and creating. Resistance loves to attack you more when you do not have any support.
Writers need to support each other better.
And it starts by being kind.
Not just to each other—we also must be kind to ourselves.
That means no more guilt for those days when the words don’t flow.
What if we focused more on the joy of writing and encouraged each other more?
I think it all starts right there.
Go reach out to another writer you know and ask him or her to coffee. You’ll be glad you did. I’d love to connect with you as well. Sign up here for a free 15-minute call with a fellow writer who wants to support and encourage you.
